I THINK I'M PRETTY HIP...

No, I didn't say I have big hips. My message today is that I've come to think of myself as being a pretty hip grandma. Today for instance, I am sitting outside in the backyard listening to my iPod. No, not to Akon, Fergie or Jay-Z but actually listening to my audiobook entitled "How to Love your Grandchild." OK, get over it, perhaps that sounds rather nerdy, but hey, it's an iPod and I know how to use it! Finally.

This reminds me of my last visit with Jennifer and Mike. We were visiting in the living room when Jen told her brother and I that she knew for sure that she would be a cool mom. Frankly I laughed out loud but she said,

"No, seriously Mom, my kids are going to say that about me."

This comes from the same child who at the age of 3 asked me how old I was and when I replied that I was 28, Jennifer said,

" Oh, Mommie, we don't have that big number on Sesame Street!" (That's when I was a cool mom, too!)

So maybe darling Jennifer you might want to settle for being a loving, caring and kind mom that I know for sure you will be. I just don't think "cool" is in the cards.

THE FIELD TRIP TO IKEA - LESSON #3

Do not ever go shopping with Jennifer to Ikea. Run, do not pass GO, do not collect $200.00 - just get away from her as quick as you can if she would ever suggest this as something fun to do. It is not as simple as it may sound. Call me weird that I didn't know this. We went last weekend and although I knew it was going to take some time, I had no idea just how long. The first thing I realized after only a very short time in the store is that Jennifer does not allow any short cuts. We needed to check out every corner of the store, backtracking often and retracing our previous path. Catalogs need to be perused, sales staff need to be consulted, lists must be written done with an inordinant amount of information. Measuring tapes and various props were used throughout the day to ensure that the best pieces of furniture were selected and there were many times that Jennifer actually kind of roared like a lioness who is readying her den for her cubs. It seems that maybe I was settling for something less than absolutely perfect for her coming baby. Rushing her decisions perhaps? After a few hours, she decided to stop my whining by feeding me at the Ikea cafeteria. Now this was the only pleasant surprise of the day because my cabbage rolls were extremely delicious. Now it was time to load our wagon and go home. I found a nice young man who was willing to help with the heavy lifting and we began our collection of various items...a crib, a mattress, a change table, two bedside tables, a wardrobe, a dresser, a shelving unit for the bathroom, some storage bins, some sheets, a rug and some decorations for the room's walls. I couldn't believe we were going to fit this all in my Ford Taurus sedan. But what did I know? I have avoided Ikea like the plague since it came to North America. Not because I don't like the products, but because once you enter the store you become trapped just like the casino at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. Drop a wad of money and they will finally release you through a tiny exit door far, far, far away....

Delighted she was, my darling Jennifer, and of course, the pain of the day was immediately erased from my mind when I watched Mike lovingly put together all the furniture for his son.

As I was reversing out of their driveway two days later at the end of my stay, Mike quietly whispers into my ear."Thanks for doing the Ikea trip...I owe you one." The truth has been spoken.

LESSON #2 - TummyTubs and Boppy Pillows under the Rain Forest...

On a beautiful sunny day in July, Jennifer's best friend, Kristi Anderson hosted an amazing baby shower that was second to none. What a lovely way to honour the baby we are now so anxiously waiting to meet.












I loved to watch my daughter from a distance interact with her new American family and friends but also reconnect with her Canadian past. It was an awesome day.

I learned so much about the extensive Fisher Price Rain Forest series of gadgets galore, things called "TummyTubs" and a "Boppy Nursing Pillow" and a new fangled machine called a "Diaper Genie!" Google these and check them out. My sincere thanks to Kristin for providing this special day and the good warm memories that came from it.

June

It's Father's Day weekend and we have been invited to Jen and Mike's. This means a few things to me. Non-stop crib games, great salsa and chips from Freddie's, starting Jen off on a knitting project for her baby and most of all, celebrating Father's Day with the father of my children and the father to be of my grandson. A wonderful memory.

SPRING SEASON AND THE DOCTOR'S VISIT

The months of April and May passed quickly and uneventfully. With time, Jennifer became more and more physically obvious in her pregnancy. She has developed the most amazing sense of humour somewhere in her lifetime and now it is really out in full force. Her descriptions of her growing body, her growing appetite and most of all, this alien creature growing inside of her, is enough material for any aspiring stand-up comedian. This is a side of Jennifer that not many people see. I feel blessed that she shows me that part of her personality as I know from experience that it can help to get a family through rough spots. Her laughter intermingled with her continued growing love for her husband and child makes me feel so warm and tingly. I simply want to break out in song...but of course no one wants me to do that so I'll keep it to myself. ("You are the wind beneath my wings...")

On one of my visits south, Jennifer invited me to her monthly doctor's visit. At first it seemed like I was taking something important away from the father, however Mike was quick to assure me that he would joyfully pass the escort job onto me this time...so thanks for this opportunity dear son-in-law because it surely helped to reinforce the reality of a baby coming soon. It was like stepping onto the set of "Grey's Anatomy" and I instantly felt a huge surge of relief when I saw how magnificent the Swedish Medical Center is and I knew that my child was in good, caring and professional hands. My first job as a nurse in 1978 was at a Maternity Hospital in Vancouver where I would have had the responsibility of many a newborn during my shifts, however, on hearing my own grandson's heartbeat for the first time was probably one of the more exciting moments in my private world. I had felt him kick on a previous visit but this was his little heart beating...so strong, so clear - such a beautiful sound I have not heard since.

MARCH 26, 2007

Returning home from a high schol Europe trip to Italy and Greece, I was tired, cranky and ready for bed at 4 in the afternoon. However, when the phone rang and I realized it was Jennifer calling, my spirits soared. Perhaps it is important to note that this was not always the case. Jen's teenage years were rough on both of us; we didn't see eye-to-eye on most subjects and communication between us was often filled with angst. Today, thanks to great long distance telephone plans and our restored pure affection for each other, I can say honestly, that the best part of my days are my conversations with my daughter. More importantly than that may also be the fact that Graham (the grandfather to be!) once said that his day is always made better by the joyful, sometimes out of control laughter he hears coming out of my mouth and he always knows who I am talking to. Sad fact is, usually the hysterics are due to some "man-bashing" comment from one of us...poor Graham and Mike. They are so innocent.

Back to the phone call - "It's a boy!" she said in the most beautiful voice I think I have heard. The voice of a mother who was loving her unborn son more than she could ever have imagined.

LESSON #1 February 2007

I learned in early February that Julie, Mike's mom, had given the baby-to-be an early present of the cutest little undershirts that are now called "onesie's." Julie and Joseph are grandparents of two years now, having experienced the joy of receiving a grandson almost two years ago, from Julie's daughter, Angela and son-in-law, Eric. It hadn't even crossed my mind that I should be looking or thinking about baby things, yet this day changed those thoughts forever. In an instant, the baby became real to me and I felt somewhat ashamed that until now, I had not perhaps let the reality of the situation really sink in.

Christmas 2006 comes early....

The gift came early this year from daughter Jennifer and her dear husband, Michael. Living in Seattle, Washington, but only a phone call away, I had been in close almost daily contact with Jennifer for some time now. It seemed that a marriage, a home and a shared vested interest in family had brought us closer together than we had been for some time.

I will not ever forget the Christmas of 2006. We arrived at Jen and Mike's in Seattle, Washington just in time for Christmas Eve dinner. Not only was their home warm and inviting, it had the nicest decorated tree I think I have ever seen. The decorations were few, but they had been obviously chosen by two people who cared, two people who were now making a new family together, two people clearly in love. Just knowing this, was a big enough gift for me.

But was I ready to be a grandmother? I didn't think so at the time. In fact, on the outside although I was calm and tried to say all the right things, inside I was a mess. Frankly, I didn't have a clue what to do or say. This could not be happening to me. I was just getting used to the idea of being 50 and a mother-in-law, and now this too? A grandma? Were they kidding? I had just lost my grandma in the past summer - now she was someone to aspire to be. What kind of grandma did I want to be? What role would I play, if any? Had things changed for grandparents in the 21st century? How would I best be able to support my daughter and her sweet hubby in the next several months? I would have to give this some thought and come up with a plan. Thank goodness it takes nine months to have a baby because I desperately needed some time to focus on the time ahead.