Ten Things I've Learned in Ten Days

I've now been here for ten days. Ten days is a long time to live with your daughter and her family. It is not like being in your own home, because it's her home. So one can't really putter about in drawers or clean a closet or walk around naked.

These are the ten things I have learned so far on this journey.

1. Don't say the word "polygamist" in front of a three year old and think that it won't be repeated.
2. If you spill your jello on the coffee table you may simply bend over and slurp it up directly from table to mouth. 
3. If physically able, you may pee in the backyard with your back turned discreetly from others but only in extreme emergencies. (Would an old weak bladder count as an emergency?)
4. Even at 9.5 months of pregnancy, you can still eat weird things at weird times of the day. (ie: 10 pm trips to the store for cheesecake)  I can understand this perfectly, as I still have severe cravings from my last pregnancy 24 years ago. At least that is what I tell my husband when I send him out to Safeway for nacho fixings just in time for Jimmy Fallon.
5. Living with 3 dogs and 4 cats has its challenges. Your wildest imagination may not come even close. How can you determine which animal was responsible for the tiniest indiscretion on the bathroom floor? None of them are willing to talk about it.
6. A 55 year old woman with a full set of steel dental braces can severely irritate a 30 year old pregnant woman, especially if you are absentmindedly clicking your bite plate retainer. I've been told I am worse than an aged person with loose dentures. Also that it sounds as bad as a dog who is licking his/her special place. Gross. I had no idea.
7. A serious one now. As much as I love meat, after ten days I can tell you truthfully that I feel better for not eating meat and dairy in the home. Even when we eat out I am trying not to fall back on my old ways 100%. However, I draw the line at my morning coffee. As Sam says, "cold fresh cow's milk for Grandma!"
8. Lock the bathroom door before you get into the bathtub.
9. Practice smiling sweetly at strangers when your grandson asks them (ladies in line for the washroom) how old they are and if they have a baby in their tummy. Lifting your hands up in a "What can you do about 3 year olds?" motion is also helpful to disguise any discomfort you may encounter.
10. And finally, know for sure that when the day comes when you eventually leave this precious family of almost four, it will be a difficult goodbye. They (the parents) may be pushing you out the door and your suitcases may be tossed out on the street but you will have your special moment, your private whisper, your final kiss and hug with that little someone you love.

Regular Grandma loves you so much Sam! xoxo